invasion in me keep torturing me anyway!!

im not really sure what happen to me act...

sometimes i feel like my life is not as perfect as my friend's...

they get what they want...

musicians?

athletes?

engineers?

study overseas?

friends?

couples?

bestfriends?

games?

laptop?

knowledge?

stability?

joy in life?

collection of shirts?

they can have all that....

but me?

i don't even know where my destination should i chase...

the eager to keep my life as perfect as before has been distorted...

and it make me cannot even use my brain wisely...

test-my head didnt work really good for that...

so many thing mixing together...

i miss my old friends....

i also wanna find new friends...

but im afraid that i will forgot all my old friends...

and even get stuck when i wanna get closed with all my new friends...

what should i do?